


by your side

by YukiSetsu



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Fever, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, don't worry we going a happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-09-16 02:43:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16945464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukiSetsu/pseuds/YukiSetsu
Summary: As Eiji's condition continues to deteriorate, he and Ash run into a doctor claiming to have a cure for his zombie bite. Unfortunately, the man might not be exactly who he claims to be.[Set in the world of ginkohs and Serya_chan's zombie apocalypse AU]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ginkohs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginkohs/gifts), [Serya_chan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serya_chan/gifts).



> if you want to be blessed with BF AU content please go visit ginkohs' twitter (@bananadeppi) she has amazing art and headcanons T__T
> 
> original AU inspired by ginkohs and Serya_chan can be found [here!](https://twitter.com/bananadeppi/status/1055305829077803009?s=19)
> 
> this based off one such headcanon that ginkohs discussed in her CC, bless her soul i was immediately filled with a NEED to write it

Eiji had lost hope in finding a cure a long time ago. Quite frankly, he was surprised he could still move on his own, given the condition his body was in. He'd seen many others fall to zombie bites much quicker—maybe the bite on his arm hadn't been quite as deep, but it was still bad. He'd been spiking fevers for the past week, and even though Ash did what he could to try and treat it, there was only so much he could do with the meager supplies they had.

That was the bigger problem: Ash. He was running himself ragged to find a cure, certain that it existed somewhere out there. Eiji had no idea where he was getting his confidence from, but he knew better than to tell Ash to give up and leave him behind before he turned. They'd had that conversation once, and Ash had refused to speak to Eiji until he apologized for suggesting it in the first place. That had been over a week ago, and it was getting more and more apparent that Eiji was getting too weak to move along at the pace they'd been going. Ash never complained, saying they were covering enough ground anyways, but Eiji knew that at some point, this wouldn't be enough to keep them safe if they ran into a horde of stray zombies. Or even hostile survivors.

“Eiji,” Ash mumbled, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze. “Let's rest for a bit.”

They'd been trekking through the forest for the past day, running into nothing more than eerie silence and remnants of others who had made their way through. Empty cans, torn fabric, scattered bullets, and occasional spatters of blood. They never seemed to run into the actual people, but rather just their traces. It had been a quiet hike so far.

But the journey had done a number on Eiji, even with the frequent breaks they took. He was exhausted, even more so due to the fevers. Ash had been insisting they take pit stops every hour or so, claiming reasons like searching for supplies and figuring out their location, but Eiji knew most of it was because Ash wanted him to rest. And as grateful as he was for it, there was still that overbearing sense of guilt in being the reason they were moving so slowly.

“I'm fine,” Eiji said, fighting to keep his breaths even. “I can go a little more.”

Ash stopped then, the hand on Eiji's shoulder bringing him to a halt as well. The jerking motion had a wave of nausea roll in Eiji's stomach, and he shut his eyes with a hiss. He gave it a few seconds, one or two breaths to make sure he wasn't about to actually throw up before opening his eyes back up, finally meeting Ash's gaze. He knew that expression—he'd seen it too many times now.

“Eiji.” Ash repeated, his voice giving no more room for argument.

He needed to rest. Eiji knew it, and so did Ash. He slumped, nodding as the blonde led him towards the base of a large tree. He sat down against the bark with a sigh, and when Ash pressed a hand against his forehead, he let himself savor the cool sensation for just a moment.

“I think it's gone up,” Ash said, frowning as he reached for their water flask. He grabbed for Eiji's hands, pressing the container against them. “Drink. And sleep for a little bit. I'm gonna go scope out the area nearby.”

Eiji gripped at the flask, watching Ash pull out a blanket from his backpack with tired eyes. “You should rest too...”

Ash shot him a small grin as he draped the blanket over his body. “I'll be fine.” Eiji mustered up enough strength to glare at him, which earned a laugh from the blonde. “I'll rest soon, okay? Stop worrying.”

Eiji knew Ash wouldn't rest. He hardly slept even during their best nights, when they were sure they'd at least be safe until daybreak. If he wasn't worrying about the slightest possibility of something going wrong, he was worried about Eiji. The longest Eiji had seen him sleep in one sitting was two hours. But ever since the fevers started back up, Ash didn't go more than one hour. He said that he felt more at ease awake and aware of his surroundings, but Eiji hated it. He hated waking up to Ash next to him, expression trying—and failing—to hide the sheer exhaustion and anxiety behind it. He hated the way Ash smiled like nothing was wrong as he helped Eiji drink some water before ushering him to get a little more rest.

Ash would work himself to death at this rate. And it would be Eiji's fault.

His hand moved away from the flask and grabbed at Ash's wrist as the other moved to stand. It was hardly a strong grip, but Ash stopped immediately, half-crouched as he stared at Eiji in confusion.

Eiji shook his head, swallowing past the dryness in his throat as he tugged at Ash's wrist a bit more. “Sit down next to me.”

Ash frowned, still not understanding. “What? But I need to—”

“The area is clear. There's nothing but forest for miles. Sit down.”

After a long moment, Ash gave in, shifting so that he could prop himself next to Eiji against the tree. It took a bit of insistence before he relented to sharing some of the blanket as well so that both of them were tucked underneath it. Eiji sighed, letting his head fall against Ash's shoulder, smiling when he felt the muscles in the blonde's body relax at the contact.

“So, what's this about?” Ash asked, his own smile evident in his voice. “You needed a better pillow?”

Eiji laughed, the sound worn out and low. “I want you to sleep, too.”

The silence was telling, but not uncomfortable. “I'm not tired right now.”

“You are.”

“Seriously, I'm—”

“I'm not sleeping until you do.”

Ash huffed out a breath. “That's not fair.”

“It is.” Eiji felt his own drowsiness tug at his eyes, but he pushed it away as best he could. “Seeing you wear yourself out hurts me more than this stupid zombie bite.”

He felt Ash stiffen at the mention of the bite, but he didn't regret bringing it up. This was their reality. There was no ignoring it.

Ash didn't speak for a long moment, and Eiji fumbled for the flask before taking a big swig. It was refreshing, and he appreciated the cool taste, not even minding the metallic flavor it had from the container. He capped it, letting it fall back into his lap before he reached for Ash's hand with one of his own. Ash responded immediately, letting their fingers intertwine before gripping on almost desperately. His hand was much colder than Eiji's—or maybe he was just too warm.

“Sleep, Ash.” Eiji mumbled, his own eyes fluttering shut. “Even for just a little.”

Distantly, Eiji felt the tension slipping from Ash's body and the brush of lips against his head before sleep finally overtook him.

* * *

 

Eiji awoke with a stiff neck and an empty space next to him. He shifted, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes when the sound of voices drifted into his ears. He could recognize Ash's voice, but he also heard... another? He blinked, vision clearing enough to spot the sources a few feet in front.

Ash was seated on an upturned log just opposite another stranger. He looked much older than them, maybe in his early 40's, distinguished even amidst the chaos of the apocalypse. His hair was a faded brown, short and messy as if it hands were constantly being run through it. He and Ash were talking animatedly, engrossed in their conversation before the stranger caught Eiji's eyes first.

“Oh, you're awake.” He said, getting to his feet and heading over to where Eiji sat. He crouched down, giving a smile that crinkled the edges of his eyes. “It's a pleasure to meet you, my name's Robert Crow.”

Eiji nodded, glancing back at Ash, who was making his way over as well. “I'm Eiji Okumura. Nice to meet you.”

Ash knelt next to him, placing a hand against Eiji's forehead again. “I heard him making his way towards us about an hour ago. He says he's got a base set up not too far from here.” He removed his hand, tilting his head slightly. “I think it's gone down a bit.”

“If we can transport him to my shelter, I can start his treatment immediately.” The strang—Robert said, reaching out his own hand to feel Eiji's temperature. “It's definitely still a fever, though.”

Eiji forced himself not to shy away from the hand, his head slightly spinning. “Wait... Treatment? Ash, what—”

Ash grinned at that, eyes almost shining. “He's a research doctor. He said he's been working on a treatment for zombie infections ever since this mess started, and he's finally got what might be an actual cure. A cure, Eiji!”

Eiji blinked, the news taking its time before sinking in. “Cure?” He floundered for the right words, hoping he didn't accidentally say too much. Did that mean the doctor already knew Eiji had been bitten? He and Ash had always been careful not to let it slip to anyone ever since it happened. Not even when they'd been traveling with Sing and the others. There was too much risk in letting the truth out, especially with paranoia and panic running high. Asides from Ash, Eiji couldn't think of anyone else who would be willing to stay with a walking time bomb like him.

Ash seemed to know what he was thinking, a reassuring look on his face. “He knows, Eiji. It's okay. I didn't even tell him—he recognized the symptoms on his own. We talked a bit about his research, and he's made so much progress. I think he can help us.”

There was a sort of desperate hope in Ash's eyes, one that had long disappeared in Eiji's. After all this time, this was the first lead they've had on possibly curing him. It almost felt surreal, and for a moment, Eiji wondered if this was just some crazed fever dream he was having. None of this was real, and soon he'd wake up next to Ash again, their bodies still curled next to each other, just like they had been before he fell asleep. No doctor, no nothing.

Ash reached over as he squeezed at Eiji's hand, a bit of concern trickling back into his expression. “Eiji? What's wrong?”

Eiji stared, trying to search any part of Ash's face for a hint, anything to tell him he was dreaming. But it felt real, Ash's hand felt real, his exhaustion felt real. He squeezed back at Ash's hand, breath hitching when the other's grip grew tighter in return. “This... This isn't a dream?”

Ash broke into another grin, a genuine smile Eiji hadn't seen in so long. It loosened something in his chest, and Eiji suddenly hoped that if this was a dream, he'd rather not wake up.

* * *

 

The doctor's base turned out to be a small cabin tucked away in an open area of the forest, windows boarded up and seemingly abandoned from the outside. But surprisingly, Eiji found the inside quite tidy, his body instantly warming up once the door closed behind them. A few gas lamps were strewn about the area, placed meticulously for as much lighting possible.

The first thing that caught his eye was the large surgical table that was positioned towards the back of the room, surrounded with medical equipment and a worn down laptop. His stomach clenched nervously at the sight, reminding him of a place more for experiments rather than a place for treatment. But he forced himself to relax as they made their way over, Ash's arm tight around his shoulders. This was the closest chance they had.

Robert was talking even before he reached his laptop, hands animatedly moving as he did so. “This is great timing. I'd been needing to find someone to use this cure on, and you might be the perfect subject.”

Eiji took a seat at the edge of the table, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead. Even though the walk to the cabin had been relatively short, the whole ordeal still left him winded. He hoped his expression wasn't as telling as the emotions swirling in his stomach. “So you haven't... tested this on anyone else before?”

Robert shook his head, fingers flying over the keyboard. “Unfortunately, I haven't had the opportunity. The most I've done are tests on some stray rats I've come across, but I believe the data I have is solid.” He looked up, a serious look on his face as he met Eiji's eyes. “I wouldn't offer to do this had I not been confident that I could help you. But if you do wish to refuse, I cannot stop you.”

Eiji blinked, lost for words. Of course he couldn't refuse. He was _dying,_ and even the slightest chance that this could work was enough for him to try. If not for him, then for Ash. Anything to give them a better chance at surviving.

“No, I... I'll do it.” Eiji said, ducking his head. “Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.”

He heard Robert chuckle, a light sound in his ears. “No offense taken. I understand your worries.” There was some shuffling before Eiji felt a hand carefully grab at his wrist, and he jumped at the contact. Robert let go almost immediately, hands raised in a passive surrender. “I apologize if I surprised you. I'll need start an IV to give you fluids and the treatment. I recommend we start right away before your condition deteriorates any further.”

Eiji let out a breath, his heart rabbiting underneath his shirt. He glanced over at Ash, who still hovered nearby, an anxious look on his expression. Calm down, he needed to calm down. He was overthinking it all. He'd be fine, and Ash would be here too. In worst case, they'd leave if things didn't improve and know that they'd at least tried.

He steeled himself, letting his body relax before he smiled and raised an arm out. “Okay, let's start.”

* * *

 

Nothing much had happened during the first day of treatment. The IV fluids helped him realize just how dehydrated his body had been, especially with the constant fevers he'd been getting. Robert had him stay laying down on the table for most of the time, only letting him sit up when he needed to use the bathroom or to eat. He didn't particularly mind that, feeling too tired to get up and move too much anyways.

Ash was a constant figure in his line of sight, always either holding his hand or busy speaking with Robert about the exact course of treatment. Eiji was glad Ash could at least follow along with the doctor, since he could barely understand half of the medical jargon that went on between them.

Things changed the second day.

His fever, which had steadily been decreasing, suddenly spiked again with a vengeance, bad enough that fluids barely did anything to mitigate the dehydration. That hadn't been the bigger problem, though. His body _ached_. Even though he'd been resting the whole time, he felt like his entire being had been wrung out and dumped in a pot of acid. It was an wholly unfamiliar type of pain, and Eiji was surprised he was still even conscious. Part of him wished he wasn't.

There was a hand in his hair, carding though the sweaty locks in a constant gesture. Eiji rolled over with a groan, moving closer towards the hand as he forced his eyes open. Ash was there, practically eye level with him as he mouthed something indiscernible. His hearing was fuzzy, for some reason. But before he could even panic at the prospect that he was going deaf too, the sound started to drift back into his ears, as if trying to make it past wads of cotton.

“Eiji... Can you hear me?” Ash whispered, hand moving from his hair and cupping his face instead. “Where does it hurt?”

Eiji shuddered as his muscles seized up again, an involuntary reaction to the waves of pain that coursed through his limbs. It felt terrible, and a frantic voice in his head whispered that things must be going wrong, that he was dying even faster now. “E—everywhere...” He managed out, voice tight. Or maybe he's just too far gone, and the treatment wasn't even going to work on him anymore. He was dying. He must be.

“What the hell's going on? Is this supposed to happen?” It took Eiji a moment to realize that Ash wasn't speaking to him, but to Robert. “What's causing it?”

“It seems to be an adverse effect of the treatment.” Robert spoke with a level of calm that neither he nor Ash had, almost as if he'd expected this to happen. He probably did, with whatever research he'd done. A warning would've been nice, though. “His body is reacting to the unknown chemicals. I believe the pain should subside soon, though.”

“You _believe_?” Ash's other hand, which had been gripping at Eiji's own, suddenly tightened in his fury. “And what if it doesn't? We're just going to let him suffer like this?”

“If I could give him medication for the pain, I would. The only reason I'm not is because it might interfere with the effectiveness of the cure.”

Ash growled, a low sound in his throat, but Eiji felt lucid enough to squeeze at Ash's hand again, his head pounding. It drew Ash's attention immediately, which was enough. “I'm fine, Ash.” He said, fighting to keep his breaths even. “I can handle this.”

Ash didn't seem to agree, conflict raging in his expression before he leaned forward, letting his forehead bump lightly against Eiji's. The hand on his face tangled itself back in his hair, pulling their heads closer together.

“I hate that this is happening to you,” Ash mumbled, quiet enough for only Eiji to hear. “I wish it had been me instead.”

Eiji stiffened again, this time not from the pain. “Don't say that.” He said, voice tight. “Don't you ever say that again.”

Ash didn't respond, closing his eyes as he relaxed further against Eiji. It wasn't the answer Eiji wanted, but he didn't push the matter any further. He knew what Ash was thinking, and he knew convincing him otherwise would be nearly impossible. Somewhere behind them, Robert had gone silent, and Eiji wasn't sure if he'd left or was just busy with something at his work station. He pushed the thought aside, letting his breaths match Ash's for a few seconds.

“We'll get through this.” Eiji said, his hand gripping at Ash's. “I'll get through this infection, and then we're both gonna get through this stupid apocalypse. And once everything's okay, we'll finally settle down in a house and sleep in a real bed for once.”

Ash chuckled, peeking one eye open. “Don't forget finally getting to use an actual shower, too.”

A bout of light laughter escaped Eiji's mouth, and he ignored the way the movement ached at his muscles. “Definitely. You stink, Ash.”

“You're one to talk.”

Speaking to Ash was a nice distraction. It kept his mind off the pain, leaving them both in their own realm of hopes and possibilities. He wanted to keep talking, he really did, but he was suddenly so exhausted. Maybe his body grew tired of dealing with the pain, too. Hopefully it was just that.

Ash must have noticed, pulling back enough to get a better look at Eiji's face before giving him a slight grin. He leaned forward once more, just enough to give a quick peck to the forehead. “Get some sleep,” Ash said, sweeping the hair out of Eiji's eyes before he stood up. “You'll feel better with rest. I'm gonna go talk with the doc for a bit.”

A large part of Eiji wanted to pull Ash's hand back when it fell out of his grip, but he only watched as the blonde finally disappeared from his line of sight. He knew Ash was still nearby, but the space in front of him suddenly seemed too empty and unfamiliar. His eyelids grew heavy and, this time, when sleep tried to claim him again, he let it.

* * *

 

Eiji awoke in a panic, eyes flying open as his brain struggled to jumpstart.

He couldn't breathe. He felt like he was drowning.

His body felt incredibly heavy, as if someone had thrown a bag of sand on top of his chest. His arms flailed, trying to find enough traction to push himself upright. But when his hands connected with something hard above him, he realized with a startle that someone was there, body looming over his. He blinked past the tears building in his eyes, chest heaving for air.

“D—doctor...” Eiji gasped. The man's hands were holding his shoulders, and Eiji scrambled to grab onto them in the hopes that they'd pull him up. “Please, I—I can't—”

“You can't breathe?” Robert asked, his expression unreadable in the darkened room as Eiji nodded frantically. What time was it? There was hardly any light. “It's alright, that's expected.”

Eiji's brain struggled to process the sentence, wondering if he'd heard right. He gripped at the doctor's sleeves, trying to sit up once more. “W—what are you...” He exerted too much energy, his body slumping against the table as he coughed from the effort. His throat felt far too small, closing up on itself and blocking off any chances of getting a full breath in.

“Don't worry, you will be able to breathe soon. The drug is short-lasting.” Robert's voice sounded muffled past the blood rushing in Eiji's ears, as if he was hearing everything underwater. “It's much too early for me to let you die yet.” The hands on Eiji's shoulder pressed a bit harder, and it was only then he realized the doctor was actually holding him down, not helping him up.

Eiji shuddered to take in another breath, his fingers trying to dig into the arms pinning him. He was dreaming. This was just a terrible nightmare, and he'd wake up soon.

It dawned on him then, that sensation of something missing even amidst the chaos. Ash was gone. He didn't see or hear him anywhere, even in darkened shadows of his hindered vision. He'd been here all this time, and now he was nowhere to be seen. Eiji strained to turn his head, get a better glimpse of the room. Unless the doctor had done something to incapacitate him...

No, Ash of all people wouldn't be that easy to take down, even in his weakened state. He must have stepped outside. It was a scary thing, realizing that he was trapped in this cabin alone with a suddenly crazed stranger.

This was a dream. He had to be dreaming.

The doctor chuckled, the sound jarring against Eiji's ears. “Looking for your friend in this situation? You're quite interesting.” One of the hands shifted, moving to press down painfully against Eiji's chest. It forced out the meager amounts of air Eiji had managed to take in, and he gasped at the even greater pressure atop his lungs. “I sent him out to fetch some wood. He should be back later.”

Eiji felt like his chest was on fire, burning for oxygen and relief. He swung his arms wildly, hoping he'd at least make contact hard enough to push himself free. But it was no use, his fists merely bumping lightly against the doctor before repelling back. He had no strength left in him right now, he knew that. The thought struck him with frightening clarity, and he could only stare up as he tried to tug off the hands on top of him.

The doctor was smiling. As if he were enjoying this.

“You...” Eiji wheezed, chest heaving from the exertion. “You're—”

Crazy. The guy was crazy. There was no question about it now. They'd both been tricked, and the realization angered him so much it sent his head spinning. The closest they'd gotten to moving forward again, and it was snatched away within seconds.

The doctor ignored him, leaning in a bit closer, his eyes almost deranged with glee. “Unfortunately for you, I'll be administering a sedative shortly, so you won't be awake when he returns. Can't have you spilling my secrets yet.”

Part of Eiji wished Ash wouldn't come back. If he found out what happened, it would hurt him the most. He'd blame himself for trusting the doctor, for letting Eiji get the treatment. And he didn't think he could handle watching Ash break down any more.

He hoped Ash wouldn't come back. Leave him behind and have a way better chance at surviving.

“What a beautiful sight this is,” the doctor crooned, the hand on Eiji's shoulder creeping closer towards his throat. Eiji stiffened at the motion, his fingers digging harder into the man's sleeves. “Such a shame how people don't see the beauty of human suffering.”

Eiji hated himself for thinking of it, but a fleeting voice in his head whispered that it might be better if he died right then, if only to put the doctor out of his sickening pleasure. Every breath was an effort, scraping at his throat and tugging at his chest. He hated feeling so useless, hated the laughter that seeped into his ears each time his body thrashed in desperation.

He didn't know why, but he thought of Ash. Their long treks through wastelands, idle conversation their only partner. The joy when they discovered stray packs of edible food or water, the warmth in sharing the rations over a small campfire. The peaceful moments in between the turmoil, where they laid under the stars and talked about the future.

“Don't cry, boy.” The doctor said. Eiji shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't want to cry. Not in front of him. “You'll live for now. I will make sure of that.”

He thought of the future, one with a small house and a blooming garden. One where his camera was filled with bright candids, snippets of joy and happiness that were found even in the blurred photos, taken too quickly in between bouts of laughter. One where Ash would sleep in even longer than him, basking in the rays of sunshine that poured through their windows without a worry in his expression. One with Ash, no pain in his eyes and freedom in his smile.

The lack of oxygen left him dizzy, and Eiji felt his grip slipping off the doctor's arms. He was so, so tired.

“Already falling unconscious? It seems I might not even need the sedative.” The doctor mumbled, a pleased undertone to his voice.

Even as he felt himself slipping away, back into the familiar darkness, Eiji thought of Ash.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost 4 months,,,, yikes

For such a large forest, it was notoriously difficult to find useable pieces of firewood. The closest thing to an axe the doctor had was a small hunting knife, and it took Ash a substantially longer amount of time to chop up salvageable branches and pieces of bark before he felt he had a decent amount tucked under his arm. He took his time surveying the area while he worked in his little radius near the cabin, surprised at just how isolated it felt. No animals, no humans, no zombies. Maybe it was good that they were settled here for a bit. Gave them a break from the chaos.

The cabin was quiet when he returned, filled with only the clacking of fingers over a worn out keyboard. The doctor gave him a nod from where he sat, a broad smile on his face as Ash dumped the pile of wood near the entrance.

Eiji was still asleep, from what he could tell. Ash made his way over, barely paying any mind to whatever morning greeting the doctor was giving him as he took a seat back next to the table. And he stared, trying to figure out what was bothering him about this whole scene.

Eiji was alive—that was the most important thing. He was breathing, but there was a slight strain in each rise and fall, a sense of exhaustion that shouldn't be common for someone in a deep sleep. Ash reached out, brushing his hand across Eiji's forehead, almost alarmed at the sweat that greeted him. There was no fever, from what he could tell.

“Did something happen while I was gone?” Ash asked, even as he continued to watch Eiji, searching for something, anything.

“Not particularly.” The doctor's voice was light, oddly pleasant given the dreary atmosphere. It was slightly irritating. “He slept the whole time. His fever seems to have broken, which is a great start. We're making progress.”

“... Right.” Ash said, pulling away as he reached for Eiji's hand again. It was almost reflex at this point, for him to grab onto Eiji for his own sense of security. A physical tether just to remind himself that he was still there.

It didn't seem like Robert was going to add anything else, another uncomfortable silence falling between the two, and Ash almost wanted to snap at the man. For someone who was actively dying in front of them, the doctor was acting too nonchalant for Ash's taste. Part of him wanted to go drag the man up by the collar, make him do anything other than type away at his damn computer.

But Ash blew out a breath instead, steeling his expression. He needed to calm down. He was worrying too much, and it was putting him on edge. Robert knew what he was doing. This was his research, his treatment.

After a long moment, Ash let his head prop against the edge of the table, draping his other hand lightly across Eiji's stomach. Just to feel him breathe. The exhaustion was overwhelming, a constant wave of fatigue and strain that tugged at every fibre of his being. He shut his eyes as he gave Eiji's hand one last squeeze, a silent prayer to a God he didn't believe in.

One hour. He'd sleep for just one hour.

* * *

 

By the time evening rolled around, Eiji still hadn't woken up. At first, Ash figured that maybe the treatment was finally letting his body catch up on the sleep he was lacking, but something felt... off. It was there, the familiar tug in his stomach that told him he was missing something.

He'd stuck by Eiji's side the entire time, waiting for any change, watching Robert administer the treatment and fluids every few hours. Each time the doctor would reach for the IV, Ash would feel his muscles stiffen as he asked what medication he was giving. Robert would answer without fail, and from Ash's knowledge, they were all credible responses. He didn't know why he suddenly felt so paranoid, but he couldn't help it.

When it was nighttime, Ash watched Robert hang another bag of fluids, his thumb massaging the top of Eiji's hand almost mechanically. Even during the treatment throughout the day, Eiji had barely responded, only growing a bit more restless towards the later half of the evening. It was subtle: slight movements in his hand that Ash would've missed had he not been holding it and little twitches in the eyelids, likely the response to a vivid dream—or a nightmare. Yet no matter what Ash did, or what he whispered, Eiji didn't wake.

It took all of Ash's willpower not to panic. Eiji was just tired. He was recovering. Nothing strange had happened today—he made sure of that much. He'd wait. He'd wait until morning to really get concerned.

* * *

 

By the time dawn broke, Ash was well awake, elbows propped at the edge of the surgical table as he stared at Eiji's sleeping form. That was mostly all he'd done throughout the night—just watching. He couldn't sleep more than an hour at a time, his nerves too wound up to relax. Not until Eiji woke up, at least. The fear that Eiji might never open his eyes again was enough to leave Ash teetering on the edge of a breakdown.

There was a slight shifting of fabric, and Ash looked over the see Robert get up from his chair, the blanket sliding gracelessly onto the ground. He looked frustratingly well-rested, and Ash pointedly refused to acknowledge him first, choosing to watch in silence as the doctor made his way towards the IV.

“Good morning,” Robert said, removing the emptied bag of fluids from the hook. He made his way over towards his desk, reaching for a new bag with practiced movements. It seemed like all he'd been doing was give Eiji IV fluids—nothing more, nothing less.

“He still hasn't woken up,” was all Ash said, careful to keep his voice neutral. As irritated as he was, he couldn't take it out on the doctor for no reason. Antagonizing their only chance at saving Eiji was the last thing he wanted to do.

The doctor nodded, as if he'd expected the remark. “I can understand your concern. I wager he's simply resting—his body was quite exhausted of its energy prior to starting the treatment. His vitals are stable, so do not worry. He is not in any danger right now.”

Ash blew out a breath, running a hand through his hair. It wasn't like the doctor was wrong, but he hated not being able to do anything but sit and hope things were going well. He just wanted Eiji awake and alive and healthy.

“Oh,” the doctor added as he picked up his discarded blanket, “do you mind heading out and grabbing a bit more firewood? We've run out from yesterday's stock.”

Ash blinked, glancing over towards the door to see that, indeed, the pile of firewood he'd brought in yesterday was gone. He didn't remember the fireplace being lit throughout the night. How had they run out so fast?

“How much do you need?” Ash asked.

“Not too much. The amount you brought in last time was a great help, though.”

It had taken Ash quite some time to gather the firewood yesterday morning. And a large part of him didn't want to leave Eiji's side until he woke up. He trusted himself more than relying on Robert's testimony. Resting or not, there was something off about how long he was sleeping. Ash just couldn't figure out what.

“Can it wait until Eiji wakes up?”

“I'm afraid not. The room should be kept at a constant temperature to keep Eiji's temperature stable, and we're running low. You don't want him to get another fever, do you?”

Ash froze at the question, taken aback. “Of course not.”

“Then, I'll be counting on you.”

Robert had already turned away, busying himself with some syringes on the counter, and Ash could only stare in mild disbelief at the exchange. He'd always been good at reading people, at catching little nuances that gave away underlying motives, and Ash couldn't help but wonder why it seemed like the doctor was intentionally trying to send him away. Not that firewood wasn't important, but the more he pondered on it, the more he felt that there was no way they'd gone through the pile given the rate they were burning. He must have hidden the rest somewhere. But why?

Ash stood up, giving Eiji's hand a quick little squeeze before he left go. “I'll be going, then.” He said, voice stiff.

Robert didn't bother looking back, simply waving a hand in acknowledgement over his shoulder. It left Ash's stomach burn in irritation, a mixture of anger and accusation with nowhere to go. He grabbed for the hunting knife, his feet quick to take him out the door.

But once he was outside, the cold morning air nipping at his face, his feet felt frozen to the spot, his heart pounding in his chest. Every cell in his body screamed at him to stay, to not take another step further. He stared at the desolated forest in front of him, still foggy from the morning haze, hand tightening around the hilt of the knife.

If the doctor wanted him to get more wood, he wanted Ash gone for a while. A large part of him wanted to turn around and slam the door back open so he could find out what the hell was going on. He was never a stranger to confrontation, anyways. But what if he misunderstood everything? One wrong move could shatter the little trust they'd built up, and throw away their closest chance at saving Eiji. It was too big a risk. He couldn't do it.

“Shit,” Ash muttered, rubbing a hand across his face.

There was a noise then, the small thud of an object hitting the ground. It was barely audible, muffled by the decayed wood between them, but he easily heard it. It was second nature to him now, reflex letting him catch even the slightest things that felt out of place. He needed to, so that he could survive.

Ash waited, his body automatically turning back towards the door as he strained to listen. There was a different noise, a low murmur that was even harder to hear. A voice. The doctor? It couldn't be anyone else. But it made no sense for him to talk to himself. He'd never done it before, and Ash would've noticed a habit like that.

And then Ash heard Eiji.

It was small, the short intake of breath that could've been anything. But then there was a muffled groan, one that Ash had heard too many times, a terrible sound that he could recognize immediately from sleepless nights and tough days. There was a churning nausea in his stomach, and he had a hand up to push open the door before he could even process it, letting it slam against the wall.

Even as his eyes adjusted to the darkened interior of the cabin, there was a terrible stillness to the air as Ash took in the scene in front of him. The doctor was standing, not even stirring at the noise as he kept his hands pressed against Eiji's shoulders. That was worst part. Eiji was awake, shuddering with choked gasps as he weakly clawed at the doctor's sleeves. Eiji was awake, and he was dying.

Ash didn't notice he'd let go of the knife and reached for the handgun tucked away in the hem of his jeans until he felt the cold metal grazing against his fingers. It only took a second for him to tug it out and take off the safety before he lined up the shot, his finger already moving to pull at the trigger. Straight into the man's shoulder—he wasn't aiming to kill yet.

He didn't know if the doctor had heard him when he first burst through the door. Maybe he did, and chose to ignore him, more occupied with his sick play. But a bullet wound was enough to draw out a screech of pain, the man stumbling to the side as he hit the ground in a slur of swears. Ash barely heard the dissonant noise, the blood roaring through his ears loud enough to drown out anything else. He wanted to destroy the man. Several times over. But that wasn't his priority right now.

Eiji didn't seem to have registered what had happened, too busy struggling to push himself upright in his desperation to breathe. Ash didn't hesitate to run over—having the tiniest sense of mind to make sure the doctor stayed on the ground—as he scrambled to take his free arm and sit Eiji up against his chest.

“Breathe, Eiji,” Ash muttered, his gun already trained back on the doctor's squirming form. Blood was already pooling on the floor, yet the man was strangely quiet as he fought to sit himself up against the cabinets behind him. The sight made him sick. “Just breathe.”

Eiji's hands scrambled for purchase against the back of Ash's shirt before gripping on tightly, almost hard enough to tear. “Ash,” he managed, breaths harsh and warm against the blonde's neck. “We need... to go. Doctor—dangerous—”

“I know, don't worry. I'll handle it. Just stay still and breathe.”

“ _Ash—_ ”

Whatever Eiji had to say was drowned out by laughter, crazed and shrill as it bubbled from the doctor's mouth. He finally made eye contact with Ash, an almost amused gleam to his eyes even with a gun aimed at him. It was disgusting—these sort of people irked Ash the most. The finger that rested against the trigger itched to move, if only to silence the grating noise against his ears.

“You won't kill me?” The doctor said, one hand pressed against his wound, blood slowly seeping through his fingers. “No, you _can't_ kill me. I'm the closest chance you have at a cure!” He laughed again, almost maniacal.

Ash tensed up, pure anger overriding his rationality as he raised the gun so that the barrel was positioned at the doctor's head instead. He should've dealt the final blow a long time ago. “Don't flatter yourself,” he hissed. “All I need is your research.”

To his satisfaction, a hint of fear flickered in the doctor's eyes at Ash's words. The man moved to stand, only for his bad hand to slip on the blood beneath him. The weight of Ash's statement seemed to sink in, frantic outrage replacing the mocking laughter that had donned the man's expression just seconds ago.

“You can't do anything with my research and materials if you can't comprehend it, stupid boy!” The doctor spat, no longer holding his wounded arm as he reached for the counter to pull himself up. “And even if you did, you can't find the needs to complete it here. I'll take you to the nearest city east—there's a lab I know that I can use to get the finished form.” He was on his feet now, eyes still trained on the gun pointed at him, a sneer growing on his face. “You _need_ me. I kept that boy alive until now. I wasn't planning on killing him, anyways. What you saw was just me taking a little reward for my—”

Ash pulled the trigger, glad to hear the man's rambling cut short with a thud. He fired again, and again, until all he heard was the empty clicking of the chamber. He knew those were all the bullets he had left, but he didn't care. He'd find more later. He always did.

Eiji hadn't moved in Ash's grip, head still buried in the crook of his neck as he fought to even out his breaths. He startled at the sound of the first bullet, and the blonde only held him tighter against him so he wouldn't be able to turn around. The heavy silence that fell upon the room once the final shot rang out should've felt suffocating, but Ash could only feel relief. Relief that he hesitated when he was outside the cabin. Relief that Eiji was still alive and in his arms.

Surprisingly, Eiji was the first one to speak, voice barely audible. “Is he... Did you...”

Ash let go of the gun, hearing it clatter against the table as he gripped at the back of Eiji's shirt, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. “He won't ever touch you again.” He pulled back just slightly, eyes trying to scan for any obvious injuries, one hand brushing the hair out of Eiji's eyes. “What did he do to you? Can you breathe okay?”

Eiji nodded, a hand tentatively rubbing at his chest. He was still trembling, not meeting Ash's eyes. “He mentioned some kind of drug the first time... I think it's temporary. It's going away.”

“The first time...” Ash's throat felt dry, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Is that why you didn't wake up for so long?”

Eiji leaned forward, letting his face fall back against the curve of Ash's neck. His breaths were evening out, the sound of wheezing barely audible now. “This isn't your fault.”

Even amidst the dismay, Ash let his arms wrap back around Eiji, another act of reflex that had developed over the years. “It is.”

“Ash...”

“I led us into this whole thing. I should've been more careful before trusting him.”

“ _We_ trusted him. It was our only lead for a cure. Of course we'd give it a chance.”

Ash laughed, a bitter sound in his ears. “And what did that leave us with? He's dead, we have no cure, and I... I nearly lost you.”

Eiji moved then, a slight movement backwards that had Ash loosening his grip. He figured Eiji was pulling away to put some distance between them, but to his surprise, Eiji reached for Ash's face, tugging him down so that their foreheads met. Ash blinked, momentarily stunned at the sudden proximity.

“But you didn't lose me,” Eiji said, speaking with that same tone that Ash always adored. It was a comforting warmth that tickled at his ears, quiet and reassuring. “You saved me. I'm alive. We're both alive.”

It was an odd feeling, to be comforted by the one whose life was in the most danger. Ash felt his chest swell, and this time, he was the one burying his head into Eiji's shoulder. Eiji relaxed at the motion, his own arms hugging back just as tightly. It loosened the tension lining Ash's shoulders, a weight lifted off of him, and he wished they could just stay in this moment forever.

“I'll get you the cure.” Ash said, voice muffled against the fabric of Eiji's shirt. “I won't live in a world without you.”

A few more seconds, and Ash finally forced himself to pull away from the embrace, stretching up as Eiji shifted so he sat at the edge of the table. The doctor's computer was still on the counter, an orange light dimly blinking while it was in Sleep Mode. From what he saw, there didn't seem to be a password on the laptop whenever it started up. He'd access the files—hack them if he needed to—and figure something out.

“We should go. We can't stay here.” Ash muttered, squeezing Eiji's hand. “Do you think you can walk?”

Eiji nodded, a light smile tugging at his face. “I'll manage. My fever's gone down. At least the fluids he gave me were real.”

He knew Eiji meant no malice in his words, but Ash still winced at the offhand comment. Nonetheless, he met Eiji's grin with one of his own, taking a step back. “I'm gonna go grab the laptop and some other stuff we could use. It'll only take a few minutes.” He paused mid-turn, shooting Eiji a quick look. “Just... watch the door, okay? Don't look behind you.”

Eiji swallowed, eyes darkening just a bit, but he nodded. Satisfied, Ash set to work, pointedly avoiding the pool of blood seeping into the aged cracks of the wooden floor as he grabbed the laptop and the leather backpack hanging off the back of the chair. A quick scan led him to a familiar cord of wires—the charger. They were heading for the city anyways, so he hoped the laptop would last the journey until he found a place with electricity. He found a few bottles of water while he stuffed the charger into the bag, and he grabbed those quick enough. There wasn't much else for him to take. A few vials of unknown medication that he tucked away to examine later, and, thankfully, some old cans of soup and beans. It was enough.

Heaving the bag on his shoulder, Ash made his way back to Eiji, shoving down any last uncertainties he had. They might have lost one lead, but they found another. So that's what he would focus on.

“Ready?” Ash asked.

Eiji didn't hesitate to nod, a smile on his face as he hopped off the table. He still had a slight tremor to his form, breathes hiding a hint of exertion as he took a second to get the feeling back into his legs. Ash thought he looked beautiful. Someone who didn't deserve anything that was happening to him.

He'd keep Eiji alive if it was the last thing he did.

* * *

 

The trip, as Ash expected, wasn't easy.

The doctor had mentioned the city was east, and although Ash knew which direction that was, he had no idea just how far they had to go. It wasn't until Ash managed to scour through some hidden files on the laptop during on of their pit stops did he manage to find a little map, essentially a path highlighting a route from the cabin to what he assumed was the laboratory the doctor wanted to go to. It was reassuring to know their destination wasn't some lie the doctor made up in his desperation to survive, to say the least. There were no others maps he could find, so he would have to make do with this one for now.

They moved slowly, making sure not to draw too much attention to their voyage, sticking to the trees when possible and spending the night in secluded parts of the forest. Not too dark, but visible enough for Ash to see well around them if he needed to.

Eiji had been doing well. He was exhausted, but he was moving at a good pace. He sat with Ash during their breaks, watching him go through file after file, and even helped cook some of the canned food over a low fire during the evenings. Ash almost hoped that Eiji's condition would stay stable from this point on.

But by the third night, Eiji's fever had returned, almost explosively. He'd been lethargic all morning, and Ash figured he needed some more rest. But when he reached for Eij's forehead, it was enough to have him jerking his hand back in shock at the heat, the dread almost a slap to the face. He was pretty sure it was worse than before they even met the doctor.

It was a terrible feeling, realizing they were almost out of time.

“Eiji, can you hear me?” Ash asked, crouched next to the tree was the other was leaning on. He took off his jacket, wrapping it around Eiji's neck in an effort to soak up some of the sweat. He reached out, gently shaking at Eiji's shoulder, a tickle of panic starting to sprout in his chest.

Eiji's eyes fluttered at the contact, gaze hazy as he stared into the distance before his eyes finally landed on Ash next to him. He grinned groggily. “Ash... Where are we?”

“Near the edge of the forest. We should reach the city soon.”

“City... Where's the doctor?”

Ash froze, his stomach dropping just slightly. “He's... not here. It's just us now.”

“He went to go get something? For the cure?”

The fever was making him delirious, Ash realized. He swallowed, the motion grating against his throat as he reached for a water bottle. They were down to two, but Ash didn't give a damn about scarcity right now. He helped Eiji sit up and have a few sips with practiced movements, having done this one too many times. “No, he didn't have the cure.” Ash said, settling Eiji back against the tree. He hoped his expression wasn't as terrible as he felt. “But I'm gonna find it. I promise.”

Eiji didn't look like he heard Ash's words, too busy staring hard at something on Ash's face before his mouth dipped into a frown. “You look tired.”

At this point, Ash couldn't deny it. He was well past exhaustion. If he wasn't digging through the laptop, he was helping Eiji rest or guiding them through the forest. Sleep was something he shoved aside, a luxury he didn't deserve until everything was right. He took naps—small ones that passed in the blink of an eye. And when he did, he had Eiji sleep against his chest, just to feel him breathing and alive. That didn't bother him. It was a small price to pay.

“I'm fine,” Ash said, a small smile touching his face. He reached up, using the jacket around Eiji's neck to wipe off some sweat on his forehead. “You should be more worried about yourself.”

Despite what Ash said, however, he could still feel himself start to panic. There were too many uncertainties in their plan, too many things that could go wrong. Even if they made it to the city, he might not find the lab, or he might not find the materials they needed. Hell, he didn't even know if he could make the cure itself. This wasn't a field he was too familiar with, and half the chemicals he read about on the laptop were ones he'd never heard of.

But worst of all, he wasn't even sure how long Eiji could last before they found a complete cure. And that scared him the most.

Something grabbed at his hand then, and Ash jolted, snapping out of his thoughts enough to realize it was Eiji's own hand, too warm and too gentle. He glanced at it for a moment before looking up again. Eiji's eyes looked beyond unfocused, and Ash wondered how he was still awake and talking to him.

Eiji smiled again, weakly squeezing at Ash's hand. “We'll be okay, Ash.”

Ash's chest swelled with something he couldn't describe, tears threatening to prick at the back of his eyes. He blew out a breath, schooling his expression into something reassuring as he squeezed back.

“Yeah. We'll be okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the original plan had been to finish this story with this chapter, but wow it's taking me 39042 years to finish it so i'm gonna have to split it up T__T i already started the last (hopefully) chapter so pray i get it done :'(

**Author's Note:**

> i will finish this,,,, soon,,,,,,, hopefully my 2 brain cells don't die on me
> 
>  
> 
> boop feel free to talk to me if you want to ^^
> 
> tumblr: yuki-setsu
> 
> twitter: yukisetsuu


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